She asked if we wanted to try one last time before we saw Dr Jarrett in December. Not knowing what to do or at this point or having any feelings towards anything anymore we did. Late October we started the hormones and medicines again. This time we were going to do an IUI and a cap. So two separate appointments that I dreaded. The sonographer told me my lining was perfect and my ovaries looked great! When we did the cap and IUI the doctor said everything went very smoothly and seemed easier this time. Well two weeks later we weren't pregnant. So knowing that what was what God had wanted we waited for our appointment with Dr Jarrett in Springfield.
At the end of November I got a phone call from a pastor of a local jail that he worked with. He told me he was given my name by someone who knew we wanted a baby. He continued to tell me that an inmate was pregnant and due at the end of December. She wanted to give her baby up for adoption. The pastor was nervous due to possible drug use by the mother before she was arrested. He told us to pray about it and let him know what we wanted to do. So we prayed about it for about a week and felt God pulling us towards this situation. The day before we went to meet with her the pastor called me and told me he heard that she had found another couple to adopt her baby. He said he didn't necessarily believe the person who told him that but said we didn't have to go meet with her if we didn't want to. Will and I wanted to be sure she had found someone and if she did that was fine but we had to be sure! So we met her and she said she had might choose another couple that couldn't have children. I encouraged her to go with them if that's what she wanted! I told her I brought some pictures of our family to show her if she wanted to see them. She said she would like to see them so I showed her and told her to go with what she felt was right for her baby. She had such a sad story that broke my heart! We left on good terms and confirmed that whatever she decided would be great for her baby!!
A week later I received a call that she had chosen the other couple for her baby. Unbelievably I was so excited for the other couple! I can't imagine not being able to have children and I was so excited for them to have a child.
The day after we found out she had chosen the other couple was my appointment with Dr Jarrett. Going into that appointment I wanted to know what exactly to do. I had lost 7 babies due to miscarriage and I didn't want to mess around. I needed peace to be able to end all of this and I wanted him to say, "STOP, this is crazy, you are hurting your body!". Instead he said, "Ok lets double everything, do a round of intra lipids, start lovanox, take extra folic acid and start you on a new kind of progesterone." I cried several times on the way home. Why? He thought I had a great chance of getting pregnant and staying that way!
Emotionally I'm done. Mentally I'm drained.
On December 30th I received a phone call from Dr Jarrett's office telling me that all the medicines he prescribed me wouldn't be covered by insurance since he was out of network. I asked if my doctor could administrate them and they said yes if he wanted to take the risk. I called my doctors office and they said they would have to wait for the doctor to come back from vacation before they could answer that. They had never had a patient on this kind drugs before since they don't specialize in it. Hearing that and knowing this might due me in Will and I made us hesitate.
Could I do this again with all the doubled medicines? Will was worried if I lost an 8th baby I might not recover mentally. I had to agree with him on that. Each miscarriage changed me and the 8th may change me too much.
On December 30th I received a phone call from Dr Jarrett's office telling me that all the medicines he prescribed me wouldn't be covered by insurance since he was out of network. I asked if my doctor could administrate them and they said yes if he wanted to take the risk. I called my doctors office and they said they would have to wait for the doctor to come back from vacation before they could answer that. They had never had a patient on this kind drugs before since they don't specialize in it. Hearing that and knowing this might due me in Will and I made us hesitate.
Could I do this again with all the doubled medicines? Will was worried if I lost an 8th baby I might not recover mentally. I had to agree with him on that. Each miscarriage changed me and the 8th may change me too much.
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