Loving on our miracles

In January of 2011 I found myself loving being home with my babies!!  Trace and Presley were stressful at times like are all kids are but I LOVED it!  I wouldn't have changed a thing.  When we found out Presley was a girl while I was pregnant I didn't know what to do.  How in the world am I supposed to raise a girl if I'm not even very good at being one myself?  I mean yeah I can do all the things girls do I didn't have much interest in.  I had always felt like God would give me boys cause he knew I could handle them.  I understood them, I wanted to get dirty and play outside all day too!  I wanted to ride 4-wheelers in the field after a good snow with people on a car hood tied behind me.  That's what I looked forward to the most about raising boys!  Them just being boys.

Well let me tell you something, Presley is not that type of girl!  She wants nothing to do with anything dirty.  She would rather dress up and pretend to put makeup on then any of that!  She squeals like a girl, talks like a girl and most of all ACTS like a girl!!  I love it all! God could not have made my kids anymore different and I love watching the differences between boys and girls.  Growing up most of you know I had three sisters.  We didn't have any comparisons except between my sisters and I.  I was the 'weird' one and they were normal.  I was the one outside with my dad helping him with his guns or going to toy shows with him.  (back to Presley now)  I love that God gave me a girly girl.  He knew I needed her to help me realize why God made most girls like that. To be the sweet, loving and caring women to make the world go round.  Where would we be without a girl screaming at the top of her lungs when she sees a spider or her brother chasing her around the house with a fake snake? Nowhere... Boys don't want to marry girls like them.  Boys want to marry girls that make them feel like heroes for killing the spiders!  They were made in Gods image to be the softer mate so that we knew the men were the head of the house for a reason.  To love and protect us the way God does for us.  I've learned so much from Will and Presley's relationship.  He loves being able to serve and protect her in ways that no one else can.  Yes, he does that for Trace but Trace doesn't appreciate it like Presley does.  She makes a big deal out of it and gives her daddy hugs and kisses for just carrying her.  He needed to feel that needed.  I have taken a lot of their relationship to heart and God is changing me as a mother and wife.  I just love how God knows what I needed. (fancy that?!)

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Growing our family

Will came from a family of 7 children and I came from a family of 4.  So we knew we wanted more kids than just our precious little miracle boy Trace.   I longed for more babies.  My dreams consisted of having at least 3 or 4 running around the house.  I wanted it all.  The messes, the crazy and the chaos!  I knew that would be some what limited when you only have one child but did we want to risk it all again?  The spiritual, emotional and physical toll was enough for me to want to go crazy with the thought.  How could I go through that with a baby on my hip?

(Step back a moment with me) After our second miscarriage in July of '07 I wondered if we would ever be able to have our own children.  I had always had a heart for foster care and wanted to pursue it.  Willy of course being the man he is said that was great but we need to try harder for our own first.  Well after that third miscarriage he told me he couldn't stand to have me go through that again so lets start PRIDE classes.  I hesitantly but eagerly started to search out information on it.  I was worried that if we started these classes did that mean we were done trying for ourselves?  Would I never feel a baby inside me or have the opportunity to give birth?  The next month worked as you know and we call him Trace :) so we put off the classes for awhile.  In October of 2009 we decided to get our license just so we had it in case we ever needed it.

Well in December of 2009 we felt like we should start trying to get pregnant again.  We didn't mess around this time! (ahem...)  My doctor's nurse practitioner had worked with another infertility doctor for many years so she knew her stuff. (ahem...)  I started out all on the right meds and had an IUI (intrauterine insemination) on my first cycle.  I didn't get pregnant.  We tried again the next month with again the same meds and an IUI.  That was it!!  Pregnant on the second try and I my numbers just kept climbing!!  We couldn't believe it.  It seemed so easy... like many other people who got pregnant so quickly.  (not an IUI but couples who tried and them BOOM, it happens)  In December of 2010 our precious little PresleyBeth was born.  She was so cute and had daddy wrapped around her finger the moment he held her. (He had the privilege of delivering her, so rather fast you could say!) Trace was in love the moment he saw her.  He has been her best friend and worst enemy since the day she was born.  They have a great relationship and we love to watch it grow!

Our first couple years...

I'm an extremely open person.  So I want to warn you ahead a time of the details in this blog. :)  Motherhood has rocked and changed my world in ways I could have never guessed.  Here is our story...

Before Will and I were married I knew that I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).  Where my ovaries have cysts all over them. I also have endometriosis I knew this because of painful and inconsistent menstrual cycles while growing up.

Will and I were married in June of 2005.  We lived in a town home in El Paso IL while Willy worked part time at Service Masters and went to OSF College of Nursing.  I worked full time at Stoller International in Pontiac as a Service Writer and personal assistant to my dad.

In March of '07 we were shocked to find out I was pregnant! We weren't trying with Willy still in school but I couldn't take birth control due to severe migraines.  We lost that baby as quickly as we found out we were pregnant due to miscarriage.

In June of the same year I had a cyst on one of my ovaries burst and had to go into immediate surgery.  We were told we could start to try for a baby right away.  Well to our delight we got pregnant right away!  While on vacation with my family in Washington D.C. we found out that my numbers were dropping and the pregnancy would end in another loss.  We did lots of tests and found I had a clotting disorder.  My blood would clot and cut off blood to the baby.  I started a new medicine and we started trying to get pregnant again.  I went through three rounds of Clomid and nothing was happening. December of 2007 Will graduated from Nursing school and started at OSF on the Open Heart Surgery team.  I finally got pregnant "naturally" and boy we were delighted!!  The week before my wonderful little sister Natalie married the man of her dreams in January I once again lost my baby.  I couldn't wrap my mind around why God didn't want this for us?!  We both wanted kids so bad and never imagined loosing three babies in a row.

In February I was started on Femara.  This is a drug that would stimulate my ovaries to produce more follicles which in turn would release my eggs.  I got pregnant once again and tried to stand on my head until I saw that amazing little heart beat!  Well we saw it, and it's never stopped!  We moved to Washington in March of 2008 so Will could be closer to work for his on call schedule.  I commuted to Pontiac for work until November when I had our precious baby boy Trace William.

Trace was my dream, he was everything I could have ever hoped for!  He was an amazing baby and having lost three babies before him made me love him even more than I could have ever imagined!  He was fulfilling my dreams of being a mom full time and wife to Willy.  I had so much fun going to Gridley on a weekly basis to hang out with my mom and Candice.  Candice had Carson three weeks after Trace was born so we always had a lot of fun getting those little boys together.

In June of 2009 I hadn't started my period and was getting close to being a little over a week past when I should have.  I was at Candice's and she suggested I take a pregnancy test.  WHAT?!?! Well she insisted so she went to get one.  I went into the bathroom and waited. And waited...  Then what did it come back as? POSITIVE!! TWO LINES!!  I hadn't started my medicines to sustain a pregnancy!  How in the world am I going to hold onto this baby?!?!  My mind was whirling as I drove home that day to tell Will.  It was later in the evening when Candice called me laughing so hard  she could barely breathe! It took her several minutes to finally get out what she had to tell me.  She had given me an ovulation test instead of a pregnancy test!  Good grief I could have punched her through the phone!!  Many laughs were had and we still enjoy a good chuckle when remembering the scary/funny day.