Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Our Bentley forever!
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Update
Sorry for the long pause on the blog. Our life has changed quite a bit since we added a third child into the mix. It's been an amazingly positive change though and we wouldn't change it for the world!!
I would like to add a couple things in about the birth mom and her family. Her boyfriend and her have three older boys that are parenting together. They are 8, 5 and 3. They are so sweet and adorable. They named their little brother Cameron while their mom was still pregnant with him. Once they found out what we were naming him they called him "baby Cameron Bentley". I love how much they loved him even though they never got the privilege to meet him. The birth mom didn't want them to come up to the hospital in fear they would make her sway from her decision. We knew it was a God thing she had picked us but then we found out some similarities that made it even more apparent God was in control. First off when the birth mom and dad were naming their youngest son 3 years ago they couldn't decide between Bentley or Drayton!! They choose Drayton and were thrilled we choose Bentley! Second, her sisters name was Candy and my sister as you may know is Candice. Third, when I miscarried my last baby in August is the exact same time when Ashley was conceiving our dearest Bentley. It's so crazy cool how God works!! I love how he has his hands in this adoption.
When A signed the consent papers she did everything correct. Two weeks after papers were signed ICPC came back and said they wanted a more detailed consent to be signed by the birth mom. Our lawyer was very against dragging her back through the mud by making her sign again but they had to. A had took some time off to go stay with some family because she said she was in a very hard spot emotionally. Well they were never able to get ahold of her so we had to find "guardians" for Bentley. This was in case Will and I decided to back out of the adoption someone would be held responsible for him besides her lawyer. It couldn't be family so we turned to someone who would love him as much as we did. (Even though we knew we would never back out of the adoption) Brian and Alison Sutter are Bentley's guardians until the adoption is finalized. They exception without hesitation just as we knew they would. They had to get papers notarized and talk to my lawyer several times on the phone but never once acted like it was a big deal. What can I say? They are some really great friends! Although I think Alison is trying to sabotage the adoption so she gets my delicious baby! ;)
A told me when we were in the hospital that her dad had given her money months ago to get an abortion. She kept saying how lucky she was that she found us and she hadn't gotten one. As I stare at Bentley while I'm up with him in the middle of the night I can't help to think how we are the lucky ones. We are the blessed parents who get to give him the life God created for him. I'm so thankful she didn't choose to abort my precious precious baby. We are forever grateful to the most selfless woman we will ever know. Bentley's birth mom is on my mind almost daily and will forever be in our prayers.
Thank you for all our love and support through all of this!!
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I would like to add a couple things in about the birth mom and her family. Her boyfriend and her have three older boys that are parenting together. They are 8, 5 and 3. They are so sweet and adorable. They named their little brother Cameron while their mom was still pregnant with him. Once they found out what we were naming him they called him "baby Cameron Bentley". I love how much they loved him even though they never got the privilege to meet him. The birth mom didn't want them to come up to the hospital in fear they would make her sway from her decision. We knew it was a God thing she had picked us but then we found out some similarities that made it even more apparent God was in control. First off when the birth mom and dad were naming their youngest son 3 years ago they couldn't decide between Bentley or Drayton!! They choose Drayton and were thrilled we choose Bentley! Second, her sisters name was Candy and my sister as you may know is Candice. Third, when I miscarried my last baby in August is the exact same time when Ashley was conceiving our dearest Bentley. It's so crazy cool how God works!! I love how he has his hands in this adoption.
When A signed the consent papers she did everything correct. Two weeks after papers were signed ICPC came back and said they wanted a more detailed consent to be signed by the birth mom. Our lawyer was very against dragging her back through the mud by making her sign again but they had to. A had took some time off to go stay with some family because she said she was in a very hard spot emotionally. Well they were never able to get ahold of her so we had to find "guardians" for Bentley. This was in case Will and I decided to back out of the adoption someone would be held responsible for him besides her lawyer. It couldn't be family so we turned to someone who would love him as much as we did. (Even though we knew we would never back out of the adoption) Brian and Alison Sutter are Bentley's guardians until the adoption is finalized. They exception without hesitation just as we knew they would. They had to get papers notarized and talk to my lawyer several times on the phone but never once acted like it was a big deal. What can I say? They are some really great friends! Although I think Alison is trying to sabotage the adoption so she gets my delicious baby! ;)
A told me when we were in the hospital that her dad had given her money months ago to get an abortion. She kept saying how lucky she was that she found us and she hadn't gotten one. As I stare at Bentley while I'm up with him in the middle of the night I can't help to think how we are the lucky ones. We are the blessed parents who get to give him the life God created for him. I'm so thankful she didn't choose to abort my precious precious baby. We are forever grateful to the most selfless woman we will ever know. Bentley's birth mom is on my mind almost daily and will forever be in our prayers.
Thank you for all our love and support through all of this!!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Our sweet Bentley
I was able to stay in the hospital in my own room with Bentley during the day. A had him with her at night and I had him for most of the days. Will, A and I have a great relationship! We laughed and cried together. The last 4 days were the hardest days of our life. In Pennsylvania you wait for 30 days before the birth mother signs the consent. In Illinois you wait 72 hours. Praising Jesus the Penn lawyer decided to go with the Illinois laws instead of Pennsylvania's!! A signed the consent for us to leave the hospital with Bentley. We still had to wait for her to sign papers for consent for adoption until Friday. We were peaceful she would follow through since she kept telling us how lucky she was to have found us. There was still that restlessness. This morning I received the next phone call I had been longing for since January. The birth father and birth mom both signed their consent for us to adopt Bentley.
I called Willy to let him know he officially had another son. It's been hard on him to not be able to be here. He screamed "WOOHOO!!" in the phone! My mom and I praised God then we did a happy dance! Well I did my happy dance on one foot. :)
My two biological babies were not full term and weighed 6lbs 11oz and 7lbs 1oz. So Bentley weighing 8lbs 4oz through me for a loop! He doesn't fit into hardly anything I brought for him! He's a big boy and LOVES to eat! This forced my mom and I to shop for him for things to wear this summer. :)
I called Willy to let him know he officially had another son. It's been hard on him to not be able to be here. He screamed "WOOHOO!!" in the phone! My mom and I praised God then we did a happy dance! Well I did my happy dance on one foot. :)
My two biological babies were not full term and weighed 6lbs 11oz and 7lbs 1oz. So Bentley weighing 8lbs 4oz through me for a loop! He doesn't fit into hardly anything I brought for him! He's a big boy and LOVES to eat! This forced my mom and I to shop for him for things to wear this summer. :)
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Update
Will and I had a great weekend together!! My mom flew in on Sunday afternoon to join us since Willy was going back to Illinois on Tuesday.
A was induced on Monday morning around 7:30 so Will and I met her in the lobby of the hospital before and we went up with her to get her signed in. Everything went real smooth except she didn't progress as fast as she thought she might. They only would allow 2 people in the room with her so Will graciously sat in the waiting room all day. She had brought her sister for support. At 1pm she got her epidural so Will, her sister and I went down to get some lunch. When we got back to the room she was anxious for the delivery but still wasn't progressing very fast. The Dr came in to break her water and a couple hours after that she was ready!! She starting pushing around 6pm and at 6:08 he was here!! She did marvelous! Beautiful little boy with long curly hair. He is so precious, I can't wait to show you all pictures!! A and the birth father sign papers Friday morning so once I know he is officially ours I will post pictures for you all to see. Until then I'm just enjoying him all to myself waiting for Friday to finally get here!!
A was induced on Monday morning around 7:30 so Will and I met her in the lobby of the hospital before and we went up with her to get her signed in. Everything went real smooth except she didn't progress as fast as she thought she might. They only would allow 2 people in the room with her so Will graciously sat in the waiting room all day. She had brought her sister for support. At 1pm she got her epidural so Will, her sister and I went down to get some lunch. When we got back to the room she was anxious for the delivery but still wasn't progressing very fast. The Dr came in to break her water and a couple hours after that she was ready!! She starting pushing around 6pm and at 6:08 he was here!! She did marvelous! Beautiful little boy with long curly hair. He is so precious, I can't wait to show you all pictures!! A and the birth father sign papers Friday morning so once I know he is officially ours I will post pictures for you all to see. Until then I'm just enjoying him all to myself waiting for Friday to finally get here!!
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Philadelphia
We got an email from our adoption agency last week on May 7th telling us "A" (birth mom) had filled out her birth plan which made us giddy it was so close. When reading through all the paper work and emails she mentioned she was being induced on Friday the 16th. The agency wanted to make sure I wasn't too tired from flying to meet with her on the 15th, so I flew out on the 14th and Willy joined me on the 15th.
On the plane I tripped over myself and fell over in the aisle. Then when getting up to help an older lady with her bags I completely banged my head on the over head luggage carrier and it sat me back down on my seat. Needless to say I've never been known to be able to walk well. I just believe the floor needs a hug ever now and then. When I arrived in Philadelphia on Wednesday afternoon everything was going great and I got on the rental bus to take me to my car. When stepping off the wrong bus to get onto the correct bus I rolled my right ankle and it popped three separate times as I came down on it. I almost passed out in the middle of the road. I clinged to my luggage and the whole world spun around me! I was in immediate pain and couldn't focus on anything except not falling over and passing out! I slowing limped over to the CORRECT bus while the extremely nice bus driver (who didn't like me moments ago because he hauled me around on the wrong bus for 15 min) took my luggage for me to the right bus for me.
When getting to the correct bus to go to the right car rental company I limped into the building and up to the counter. The gentleman at the counter sympathetically asked if I wanted some ice for my ankle. I told him I would just get some when I get to my hotel room. He said "oh good cause I don't think we have any ice!" Well thanks for the offer I guess... I told him why I was in the area to adopt our son and he just started smiling when I told him. I had originally reserved a compact car for the week out here and then got to thinking that might not work well with an infant in the back seat and with Willy's long legs. So I asked him if a full size man would fit in a compact car comfortably. Well the answer was no, so I asked for the next size up knowing that when you put a big guy like my dad or Willy in a tiny car day after day they begin to hate the car. You never put someone who is paying for your trip (Willy) in uncomfortable positions daily. :) We went out to the parking lot where the cars were and he asked if I wanted to upgrade to a mini van for $11 extra a day. I politely declined knowing this trip was expensive enough. Then he asked if I wanted a small SUV for an extra $11 a day, and I said ummm no! So knowing I was adopting he offered me the mini van for free as a birthday present to the baby!! God has his hands in this in so many ways! I love it!!!
So not being able to escape the dream of having a mini van (insert sarcasm) I drove to the hotel with a ginormous ankle and to rest.
Thursday the 15th Willy got here at noon and took one look at my ankle and we had to go the ER immediately. Our insurance doesn't cover Prompt Cares while we are on vacation so we only had that option. It went pretty quick except everyone wants to know why we are in the area. So we tell them we are adopting and the Dr came in and just sat and talked to us about it. People love adoption stories!! I have a super bad sprain. They gave my crutches, a wrap and a brace. Proving God has a sense of humor as I stumble around even more on crutches. :)
We were supposed to have lunch with A on Thursday but she couldn't find her phone to call us :( She called me Friday morning and we talked for the first time for 70 min and it was wonderful!! I got off the phone and Will asked if I had found my twin? :) We do seem to have a lot in common! She invited us to her Dr appointment that morning. We met her and her sister in the lobby of her Dr and went in. The Dr came in and acted annoyed there were two extra people in there with her. After explaining who we were and that we were adopting her baby his whole demeanor changed and he became very sweet. He agreed to have her induced Monday morning because we were in town. When leaving the office he stopped us and asked for our phone number. I wrote it down for his secretary not knowing exactly why. He asked who was going to be on the birth certificate and after telling him both of us he seemed to become even sweeter. He then told us he would contact the hospital and try to get us our own private room to stay in while the baby was in the hospital. When getting back to our hotel that afternoon the Dr himself called me and told me the hospital would rent out a room next to A's room like a hotel during our stay so we can stay with the baby. That way we will for sure be there when the pediatrician comes around. I still can't believe the Dr himself called. There's God again proving his hand in this!
So Will and I are enjoying some much needed time away together as we anxiously await Monday morning... Please pray for A at this time. She says she is really excited to give him a better life then what she can provide, but I know this will be harder than she thinks. We can feel your prayers all the way out here and can't say thank you enough!! We love you all!!
Will and Holly
On the plane I tripped over myself and fell over in the aisle. Then when getting up to help an older lady with her bags I completely banged my head on the over head luggage carrier and it sat me back down on my seat. Needless to say I've never been known to be able to walk well. I just believe the floor needs a hug ever now and then. When I arrived in Philadelphia on Wednesday afternoon everything was going great and I got on the rental bus to take me to my car. When stepping off the wrong bus to get onto the correct bus I rolled my right ankle and it popped three separate times as I came down on it. I almost passed out in the middle of the road. I clinged to my luggage and the whole world spun around me! I was in immediate pain and couldn't focus on anything except not falling over and passing out! I slowing limped over to the CORRECT bus while the extremely nice bus driver (who didn't like me moments ago because he hauled me around on the wrong bus for 15 min) took my luggage for me to the right bus for me.
When getting to the correct bus to go to the right car rental company I limped into the building and up to the counter. The gentleman at the counter sympathetically asked if I wanted some ice for my ankle. I told him I would just get some when I get to my hotel room. He said "oh good cause I don't think we have any ice!" Well thanks for the offer I guess... I told him why I was in the area to adopt our son and he just started smiling when I told him. I had originally reserved a compact car for the week out here and then got to thinking that might not work well with an infant in the back seat and with Willy's long legs. So I asked him if a full size man would fit in a compact car comfortably. Well the answer was no, so I asked for the next size up knowing that when you put a big guy like my dad or Willy in a tiny car day after day they begin to hate the car. You never put someone who is paying for your trip (Willy) in uncomfortable positions daily. :) We went out to the parking lot where the cars were and he asked if I wanted to upgrade to a mini van for $11 extra a day. I politely declined knowing this trip was expensive enough. Then he asked if I wanted a small SUV for an extra $11 a day, and I said ummm no! So knowing I was adopting he offered me the mini van for free as a birthday present to the baby!! God has his hands in this in so many ways! I love it!!!
So not being able to escape the dream of having a mini van (insert sarcasm) I drove to the hotel with a ginormous ankle and to rest.
Thursday the 15th Willy got here at noon and took one look at my ankle and we had to go the ER immediately. Our insurance doesn't cover Prompt Cares while we are on vacation so we only had that option. It went pretty quick except everyone wants to know why we are in the area. So we tell them we are adopting and the Dr came in and just sat and talked to us about it. People love adoption stories!! I have a super bad sprain. They gave my crutches, a wrap and a brace. Proving God has a sense of humor as I stumble around even more on crutches. :)
We were supposed to have lunch with A on Thursday but she couldn't find her phone to call us :( She called me Friday morning and we talked for the first time for 70 min and it was wonderful!! I got off the phone and Will asked if I had found my twin? :) We do seem to have a lot in common! She invited us to her Dr appointment that morning. We met her and her sister in the lobby of her Dr and went in. The Dr came in and acted annoyed there were two extra people in there with her. After explaining who we were and that we were adopting her baby his whole demeanor changed and he became very sweet. He agreed to have her induced Monday morning because we were in town. When leaving the office he stopped us and asked for our phone number. I wrote it down for his secretary not knowing exactly why. He asked who was going to be on the birth certificate and after telling him both of us he seemed to become even sweeter. He then told us he would contact the hospital and try to get us our own private room to stay in while the baby was in the hospital. When getting back to our hotel that afternoon the Dr himself called me and told me the hospital would rent out a room next to A's room like a hotel during our stay so we can stay with the baby. That way we will for sure be there when the pediatrician comes around. I still can't believe the Dr himself called. There's God again proving his hand in this!
So Will and I are enjoying some much needed time away together as we anxiously await Monday morning... Please pray for A at this time. She says she is really excited to give him a better life then what she can provide, but I know this will be harder than she thinks. We can feel your prayers all the way out here and can't say thank you enough!! We love you all!!
Will and Holly
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
PAPER PREGNANT!!
That's right, you read the title correctly!! We are paper pregnant! Meaning... a birth mom choose us to parent her baby! I was sitting enjoying a play date friday afternoon regularly checking my emails like crazy as usual and received the email we have been waiting on. The title was: YEAH YOU ARE MATCHED!! At that point I started not breathing well as I told Angie Schrock "Ummmmmm I think we are matched with a birth mom?!?!" I read the email several times to be sure that the young woman who had been looking at our profile choose us!! Angie started laughing at me as I talked to Willy on the phone and couldn't breathe correctly. I anxiously called my parents and sisters to tell them the news. Then I called my sweet mother in law who was in Atlanta with my sister in law Stephanie would just moved then. I couldn't wait to tell her she was getting a 28th grandchild!
This wonderful young woman is a sweetheart as far as I can tell in her emails. She seems dedicated to the adoption which we were worried about. The fun part is is that she is due May 15th!! Soooo looks like we will be traveling to get our SON very very soon!! Prayers would be appreciated so things go smoothly with the state transfer. Thank you for your support!! We love you all very much!!
This wonderful young woman is a sweetheart as far as I can tell in her emails. She seems dedicated to the adoption which we were worried about. The fun part is is that she is due May 15th!! Soooo looks like we will be traveling to get our SON very very soon!! Prayers would be appreciated so things go smoothly with the state transfer. Thank you for your support!! We love you all very much!!
Monday, April 14, 2014
Mercies in Disguise
Nothing too new here. We have been presented to several birth moms but have not been chosen yet. Will and I view the birth moms health profiles first to see if we want them to look at us first. This is so hard and confusing for us. So many, many decisions for us to make in a matter of hours, sometimes while Willy is at work.
I literally check my email about every 5 minutes. I get an email about every other day from a different agency with a new birth mom situation, asking if we want her to view our profile. If you are interested in adopting domestically there is a baby out there for you. Red, Yellow, Black or White and every color in between.
When I get the email from the agency that the birth mom has chosen another family I go back to one of my favorite songs by Laura Story called Blessings. It helps me to remember that even though I think any baby in the world "could" be mine, God doesn't think the same thing. There are specific reasons that God didn't want that baby to be ours. Whether that being the baby would get sick in a few years and die or give us a very hard time throughout his or her life. Only God knows why we don't get a certain baby and frankly that's the best way. I would have taken the first one I received an email on, if it was up to me. :) (This is when Will just shakes his head while smiling at me).
In answer to others questions, Yes we were asked which sex we preferred. Will and I did have a sex in mind that we "thought" would fit our family the best. But.... since we didn't get to choose what Trace and Presley were we decided to once again let God decide what sex he thought would work for our family the best.
These are the lyrics for the song I mentioned before. It gives me great comfort when I feel like God hasn't given me what he tells me he wants me to have! It just wasn't his timing...
"Blessings"
I literally check my email about every 5 minutes. I get an email about every other day from a different agency with a new birth mom situation, asking if we want her to view our profile. If you are interested in adopting domestically there is a baby out there for you. Red, Yellow, Black or White and every color in between.
When I get the email from the agency that the birth mom has chosen another family I go back to one of my favorite songs by Laura Story called Blessings. It helps me to remember that even though I think any baby in the world "could" be mine, God doesn't think the same thing. There are specific reasons that God didn't want that baby to be ours. Whether that being the baby would get sick in a few years and die or give us a very hard time throughout his or her life. Only God knows why we don't get a certain baby and frankly that's the best way. I would have taken the first one I received an email on, if it was up to me. :) (This is when Will just shakes his head while smiling at me).
In answer to others questions, Yes we were asked which sex we preferred. Will and I did have a sex in mind that we "thought" would fit our family the best. But.... since we didn't get to choose what Trace and Presley were we decided to once again let God decide what sex he thought would work for our family the best.
These are the lyrics for the song I mentioned before. It gives me great comfort when I feel like God hasn't given me what he tells me he wants me to have! It just wasn't his timing...
"Blessings"
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguiseComfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
What if it took a thousand sleepless nights over the past 7 years for me to realize God was near and wanted adoption for us? I have realized though the rain, the storms and the hardest nights are his mercies in disguise. I have realized that healing comes through tears. Oh I have cried the tears! Just this past weekend I was at Communion having a great conversation with some people then one of them asked how I was really doing? That was the end of that. I cried and couldn't stop for a while. Weird. It's the people who ask me how I am that really know my heart that seem to bring my tears up. The ones whom when I catch their eye at church while I'm holding a baby I start tearing up. You know who you are and I thank God for you daily for knowing the inner-workings of my heart! Thank you!
I will keep you updated on the other birth moms that are viewing our file currently.
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