I literally check my email about every 5 minutes. I get an email about every other day from a different agency with a new birth mom situation, asking if we want her to view our profile. If you are interested in adopting domestically there is a baby out there for you. Red, Yellow, Black or White and every color in between.
When I get the email from the agency that the birth mom has chosen another family I go back to one of my favorite songs by Laura Story called Blessings. It helps me to remember that even though I think any baby in the world "could" be mine, God doesn't think the same thing. There are specific reasons that God didn't want that baby to be ours. Whether that being the baby would get sick in a few years and die or give us a very hard time throughout his or her life. Only God knows why we don't get a certain baby and frankly that's the best way. I would have taken the first one I received an email on, if it was up to me. :) (This is when Will just shakes his head while smiling at me).
In answer to others questions, Yes we were asked which sex we preferred. Will and I did have a sex in mind that we "thought" would fit our family the best. But.... since we didn't get to choose what Trace and Presley were we decided to once again let God decide what sex he thought would work for our family the best.
These are the lyrics for the song I mentioned before. It gives me great comfort when I feel like God hasn't given me what he tells me he wants me to have! It just wasn't his timing...
"Blessings"
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguiseComfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
What if it took a thousand sleepless nights over the past 7 years for me to realize God was near and wanted adoption for us? I have realized though the rain, the storms and the hardest nights are his mercies in disguise. I have realized that healing comes through tears. Oh I have cried the tears! Just this past weekend I was at Communion having a great conversation with some people then one of them asked how I was really doing? That was the end of that. I cried and couldn't stop for a while. Weird. It's the people who ask me how I am that really know my heart that seem to bring my tears up. The ones whom when I catch their eye at church while I'm holding a baby I start tearing up. You know who you are and I thank God for you daily for knowing the inner-workings of my heart! Thank you!
I will keep you updated on the other birth moms that are viewing our file currently.
